Anton Ego, Ratatouille
Today's "long" run was horrible. I'm sure you can guess by the quotation marks that it wasn't exactly what I would classify as long... in fact, I might even go so far as to put the word "run" in quotes too; there wasn't much that could be classified as running going on either. Because the group run was cancelled this week due to weather, we had a sort of unofficial group run out of Buff's Pub in Newton. The plan was to do 17 miles... which would have been no walk in the park, but I thought was manageable. At about mile 9, right around Newton Center, my back/ tail bone aching, my legs acting like they have never gone on a run before, I realized that there was no way that 17 miles was going to happen. I begrudgingly accepted defeat and cut out the final loop of the run to return early to Buff's. I felt like a complete failure.
At what point did a 10-12 mile run become a failure?
Last time I checked I am the same girl who hated running for most of her life, who could barely run a mile in high school. Last time I checked I am the girl who guilted herself into running in college only after realizing that if she didn't start doing some sort of activity her disturbingly vast collection of jeans would go unworn due to weight gain. Last time I checked I am the same girl who found peace and comfort in running when things weren't going my way. When did I become the girl who berated herself for having a bad run and cutting it short when her body wasn't agreeing with her? Clearly I was in need of a little perspective.
Bad runs happen. No- Hard runs happen. But look at the difference in what I thought was a hard run a couple of months ago, maybe a couple of miles, to what I consider a hard run now. I mean, I ran 11 miles! That is something... that is more than something, that is a lot of miles! I never thought I'd crack the 7 mile mark on a good day, never mind 11 on a bad one. I should be proud of what I've accomplished, not beating myself up because it's not quite what I planned. I can do 17 miles another day- I will do 17 miles another day. And I will do 20 on another day, and on April 21 I will do 26.2.
Ahh, perspective. It is a powerful thing. Now to find a good wine to pair it with...
1 comment:
Training for a marathon makes us set goals for ourselves that months ago would have been impossible. I often get frustrated with myself for not being able to do more miles, running faster, be a better athlete. I thought training would be a challenge but I never imagined how emotional it would be. I definitely beat myself up for not being able to acomplish more on our runs. 11 miles is a great run (more than most people can ever dream of running), even if it not the 17 you had hoped for yesterday. As you say in your blog, you will do this. And maybe, just maybe tomorrow, the 17 will come your way.
-Marcy
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