Going nowhere fast

There is nothing quite so frustrating as moving your legs frantically for an hour and never actually going anywhere. This has only recently occurred to me as I've spent the past week cooped up in the gym on the god-forsaken arc trainer. The truth is, before I was much of a runner, back in college, I was a total gym rat- I logged countless hours on the treadmill and the elliptical machine in Holy Cross's little, stiflingly hot gym. I just wanted to burn a few calories, I was certainly not looking to get anywhere. Little did I know just what I was missing out on...

There is a certain joy that I get from feeling my legs propel me over the ground; a certain sense of accomplishment that I get from watching the pavement escape behind me from underneath my Asics; a certain pride I get from my feet touching as many different areas of the city as possible.  As much as the arc trainer may be able to simulate for your muscles what it feels like to run, it can never simulate for your body and mind the feeling of covering ground.  I'm still following Jack's prescribed time off of running, but I would be lying if I said I was enjoying it.  Only a few more days and I'm back on the roads...

Trying to listen for once

Yesterday Jack told me that I need to take two weeks off of running to help take care of a nagging muscle strain in my left thigh. It was not what I wanted to hear. In fact, I didn't even want to talk to him about it because I knew what his solution would be. But, my muscle truly has been bothering me, so much so that yesterday after getting home from the first timer's run, I resigned myself to the fact that I would be logging some quality time on the arc trainer for the next couple of weeks. And then I woke up this morning...

I'd be lying if I said that when I woke up today, the first thing I thought to myself wasn't, "How long of a run should I do today?" The sun was slightly peaking out from behind light clouds and I could feel the unseasonably warm breeze coming through my window- the day was calling to me to get out there and run (it's funny how quickly I forget about things when I don't really want to do them). Of course, I'm not a morning runner, so, I put on my running clothes, threw on my trusty HC sweatshirt, and took my computer down to the coffee shop for some caffeine, a muffin, and some quality time with my mailing list of potential DFMC donors. After a couple of hours, I decided to head home and clean my room for a bit and then I'd head out on my run. It was noticeably colder on the short walk back up to my apartment than it had been only a couple of hours earlier. And by the time I finally felt like doing something active, it seemed that the temperature had dropped almost 15 degrees including the wind chill. It was downright freezing! I thought about my options, changed into sweatpants, tossed my shorts in a bag and headed over to the gym.

So, while my intentions were not good, I did end up following Jack's advice on the no running thing today. I put in a solid hour on the arc trainer, and I actually felt pretty good about it. While I was working out, I got to thinking about why I'm so stubborn when it comes to running. I mean, it's something that I complain about doing constantly, yet when someone tells me that I shouldn't do it, it's all I can do to keep myselt from tying my Asics up right then and there and going for a 10 mile run. I know part of my issue is that I have worked so hard to get into the running shape that I am in now that I'd hate to lose it, and somewhere in my head the ONLY way to stay in that shape is to keep on running- injured or not. Sure, I know that's not entirely true, but you try reasoning with my head.

Regardless of my crazy head though, I do recognize the importance of letting myself get better and not continuing to agitate my muscle until I make it much worse. I'm hoping that by saying here on my blog that I plan to take at least a week off of running (Jack said two I know... I'm taking baby steps here) I will feel accountable and I will actually do it. I can get some quality workouts in on the arc trainer (while trying not to go insane with boredom while I'm at it) and, hopefully sooner rather than later, my leg will be back to its good old self again and I will be back on the roads. Until then, I'll be counting the days that I'm stuck in the gym, and hoping that the weather stays unappealing enough not to tempt me to run.

First Timer's Run

Yesterday morning, I was lucky enough to go to the First Timer's Run for DFMC even though I am neither first timer, nor DFMC board member, the usual attendees of this particular run.  I remember so vividly waking up that morning last year, butterflies in my stomach, driving (and getting lost on the way) over to the Mt. Auburn Club, nervously getting out of my zipcar and meeting Shifter at the end of the parking lot wearing a Holy Cross sweatshirt, anxiously putting on my running shoes and stretching out my legs for the run ahead, running the last of the run with Shifter, then meeting all of my new teammates (Linds included) during our gathering afterwards, and then leaving with that glowing warmth inside which I have come to associate with all of our DFMC gatherings since that very first day.  I was really excited to have the opportunity to be a part of the day for the first timers this year and help to make it as special a morning for them as it was for me a year ago.  It was funny though, as I left the run yesterday, aside from the warm happy feeling that customarily comes with spending time with my DFMC teammates, I had two very distinct and very conflicting feelings. 

On the one hand, I was overcome with jealousy of the first timers- especially those who had never run a marathon before.  While it is frightening to approach marathon training unsure of whether or not your body is capable of handling the mileage and the wear and tear of the season, there is something so nice about not knowing what you are getting yourself into.  You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.  Without knowing how much a long run can hurt, or how the chills from a cold Crossroads run won't disappear for hours, or how the blisters from your running sneaks won't allow you to wear shoes for a week, you can approach your training blissfully unaware of what you are about to put your body through.  Sure, you've heard stories, but without the personal experience you never truly know what you are getting yourself into.  Clearly, I signed up again, the bad parts of training were not nearly enough to deter me from running DFMC again, but I hate to think that I will approach any part of the experience with dread or come away with feelings of disappointment.  I know that last year there were times that I dreaded a run, but that was because I was unsure that I would be able to do it.  This year, I know that I should be able to do it- it's a lot of pressure, and I think I've established how much I hate to disappoint myself (I'm repeating over and over in my head to myself right now "set goals, not expectations").  

So anyways, while on the one hand I was jealous of the first timers, on the other, I felt completely unlike the "veteran runner" that Jan introduced me as.  Sure, I did the whole thing last year, but I certainly would never put myself in the ranks of teammates like Shifter and the other vets who helped to make last year so incredible for me.  It's strange to me to think that I'll be a fundraising coach this year (did I not mention that before?  well, I'm going to be a fundraising coach), not because I don't think that I have something to offer, but, that being said, I still sometimes feel so new to DFMC.  So this is where that whole conflict comes in- I'm jealous of the people that are actually new to the team, and yet I don't quite feel so un-new to the team myself.

But, despite all of this inner conflict, more than anything I'm extremely excited to be getting back into the DFMC season.  And, with the first timers run behind me, and Thanksgiving quickly approaching, it's time for me to get back to blogging regularly, which I will be the first to admit I was somewhat lazy about doing this summer and fall.  Let the blogging/ fundraising/ training begin!

Run Jeffrey Run

There are few people in this world that I would wake up at 5 am on a Sunday and travel down to New York City just for the day for. There are even fewer people who I would do this for only to watch them run by in a speeding blur twice for mere seconds. Fellow DFMC runner, and member of the original "best carpool ever," Jeff, is one of those people. Jeff ran the NYC Marathon yesterday, and Tyler and I made the trek down to the city to surprise our fastest friend and cheer him on as he kicked major marathon-running butt (he ran a 2:47... see I told you he's fast). It was a long, but fantastic and fun day, and it was great to see Jeff after he deserted us for some dumb job in Washington, DC (kidding, sort of... the job isn't dumb, him living in DC is). It was also great to watch another big marathon being run (I've only ever seen Boston before) and inspired me to maybe (this is a big maybe) try to run a marathon in another city (in addition to Boston) at some point. Both Tyler and Jeff plan to do New York next year, so maybe I'll throw my name in the lottery next year and see what happens (I've still got several months and a Boston Marathon to run before I make any official decisions). For now, though, a huge congrats to Jeff for a fantastic race yesterday... way to do DFMC proud!!

Self Improvement

I've spent a lot of time the past couple of weeks thinking about how I'm going to train for whatever race comes next while hopefully 1) enjoying myself; and 2) not feeling like crap in the middle of the race, and I've come to a few conclusions as to how I'm going to accomplish this. Here they are:

1) Get a watch. Ever since I started this whole running thing, I have been anti-watch. At first it was because I just simply wanted to finish a marathon, I didn't need to be bogged down with the details of how long it was going to take me. And then, after I had finished the marathon and I started working on getting faster this summer, I still wasn't interested in a watch. I didn't want to become obsessed with speed and time. I just wanted to run and enjoy it, and hopefully be faster in the process. It worked at first. But the more I run, the more I realize that I have absolutely no concept of how fast I'm going. Which is just fine and dandy when running loops around the river, but not so awesome for running races. My little problem of starting too fast could be easily helped if I had a watch to tell me to slow down a bit, not to mention, if I wear a watch to train, I would actually know what too slow and too fast for me are. I realize these are things I probably should have figured out a long long time ago...

2) Have a training schedule. Running as far as you want, as fast as you want ,whenever you feel like it is fun and certainly has its merits, but there's something to be said for having some sort of plan to all of those miles. I followed a training schedule (sort of) for the marathon last year and I was in good shape for those 26 miles, I did not follow any sort of training schedule for my races this summer and, well... some of them were good, some of them were bad. Sure, not every race you train for is going to go well, but actually training for said races seems to be the first step. I think I would probably benefit from having a little structure to my training and being accountable for some runs. Of course, I'll still go on my city-wandering runs, but (and this is another place where the watch could come in handy) maybe, just maybe, having some sort of plan for mileage may be helpful.

3) Buy some new running clothes. Because everything is a little more fun in new clothes :)

4) Attitude adjusment. I have got to stop beating myself up everytime I have a bad run or race, which is easier said than done. I expect a lot of myself, and hopefully, with a little preparation, I'll be able live up to it. But all the preparation and training in the world can't prevent bad runs and disappointment from happening sometimes. So, I'm going to try to shift from expecting myself to do better to having goals for improvement. A goal is just that, a goal. Sometimes you achieve it, sometimes you don't, but in the end, if you did all you could do, you can still be proud. Sure, there will still be times when I'm disappointed in my performance, but hopefully with a little attitude adjustment I won't take it so hard and I'll be able to grow from it. Hopefully.

5) Eat healthier. By no means does this translate to "Go on a diet." But, that being said, food is fuel and this is especially true for runners. What you eat can have a huge impact on your performance. I will be the first to admit that I don't have a particularly healthy diet. I love pizza and cookies and brownies and ice cream (I tend to lean toward the sweets end of the food spectrum), but I can't help but think that perhaps my running might benefit if I included some, oh, I don't know, fruits and vegetables into my baked goods filled meals. Interestingly enough, I went to the doctor not to long ago and I told her about the muscle cramping I had had during the BAA Half, as well as the sometimes extreme fatigue I feel in my legs during runs or even just walking, and the first thing she asked me was what I eat. When I told her a typical day's meals, she asked if I took a vitamin (apparently my food intake wasn't exactly nutrient rich). So, while I am usually one to rebel against any and all advice about taking care of myself (I'm not so sure why I'm so contrary when it comes to this) I think I actually might take the good doc's advice on this one.

So, while these all seem like great ways to help me out with my running, it's really easy for me to sit here and say I'm going to do all of this stuff. The not so easy is me actually doing it all, and the jury is still out on how well I actually follow through. I am determined, though, to have my next big race (which right now looks to be the Miami Half in January) be a good one. But of course, if it's not, that attitude adjustment that I'm going to give myself sure will come in handy...

I'm a little bit country...

I spent this past weekend visiting some of my family out in the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts. For anyone that doesn't know, that means that I spent my weekend basically in the middle of nowhere. While I'm usually a city person, sometimes I desperately need to escape Boston, and a visit out to the Berkshires for some family, good food and beautiful surroundings usually does the trick. When I'm out there I typically consider it a break from all things everyday life, which includes running, but this past weekend, on a beautifully warmish-cool Saturday morning, the roads called to me and I felt obligated to answer. I chose one of the flatter roads around the area- and when I say flatter, I really mean not mountainous, because that's how most of the roads there are- and I just ran. I ran through corn fields and cow pastures, past beautiful homes and majestic mountain tops. It began to mist a bit and I couldn't help but be reminded of the race this past summer in Stowe, one of my best races all year. The scenery was remarkably similar (with the absence of all the other runners and only 5 cows, no bonus horses) and the weather felt exactly the same. And, in addition to these similarities, just like at Stowe, my legs felt like they could run forever. Perhaps this running in the country thing suits me...

Krazy gives her legs a rest from running: Day 1

Tonight, on my first day of rest from running, I went for a run. Bad idea? Maybe. But, man, did it feel great.

I don't know if this is an issue for everyone else as much as it is for me, but my mind is in constant battle with my body when it comes to running. When my body feels good, my head is elsewhere. When my head really needs a good run, my legs won't cooperate. It's only on the rare occasion that my head and my body come together, and it's on those occasions that my best runs happen. Well, tonight, my head really needed a good mind clearing run, and it pleaded with my legs to please, please cooperate... and, in a surprising turn of events, my legs happily obliged.

It was a beautiful night for a run, my ipod was on fire, and it felt as though my feet were barely touching the ground as I cruised around the river. My quad is already letting me know that running may not have been the best idea I've ever had, but the peace that I felt for that 40 or so minutes was well worth any aches and pains that I will end up suffering. It was exactly the kind of run that I've missed, and exactly what I needed to forget about Sunday's race. I can rest my legs tomorrow.