How it all started...

There was a point this past summer when I came to the realization that I needed something to do. Don't get me wrong, I had a job and I had friends in Boston, I had plenty going on. But did I really only want to be defined as a corporate actions processor at State Street, a lounger at the North End pool and a frequent shopper of Newbury Street? I needed something to do- a hobby, an activity, a sport... anything. I sat down at my desk one day at work and started searching the internet for something. I honestly have no recollection of what led me to the Dana-Farber website that day, much less the Marathon Challenge page, (I'd like to think there was some unknown force guiding me through the abyss of the internet) but as soon as I read what DFMC was all about, I knew I had my new activity. Applications weren't going to start being accepted for the 2008 team until September (yes, you read that right... not only did I sign myself up to run 26.2 miles, I applied to do it) but I immediately started drafting my application. (I know right now my dad is thinking "You didn't even plan that far ahead when you were applying to college," which, sadly, is true).

Anyways, it was a good thing I started so early because, as it turns out, I needed the extra time. As I think most people already know, my mom passed away from cancer in 2005, so I had a very personal reason for wanting to participate in the DFMC. Because of this, I thought it would be easy to convey why running the marathon for Dana-Farber was so important to me, but it turned out to be much more difficult than I expected to translate my thoughts and feelings into writing (I know, big surprise, it was hard for me to write about feelings... shocking). By the time I finally arrived at my final drafts of my application, I realized that I not only wanted to run the marathon for Dana-Farber in memory of my mom and her battle with cancer, but that I also wanted to participate in DFMC because it is something that I know my mom would have been proud of, and, though she probably wouldn't have chosen to run a marathon per se, it is the kind of thing that my mom would have participated in herself. I wanted to be a part of the marathon challenge because, in some small way, it would be following in my mother's footsteps.

Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday, I received a donation from a woman who knew my mom through volunteering at my highschool along with an email. In the email she wrote, "I'm sure your mom is so proud of both you and Kat (my sister)... by your volunteer work with this project I can see that you, too, have that wonderful giving spirit that your mother exemplified." Of all the wonderful things people have said to me about my running the marathon for Dana-Farber, this one really struck me. It brought me right back to that day when I realized the reason I wanted to be a part of DFMC. It also made me feel as though maybe someday I will be able to have as big an impact on other's lives as my mom did. I'm at least off to a good start...

If the Shoe Fits

Tonight I am happy to present to you (drum roll please...)

My new shoes!!!

I know what you're going to say "Lauren, you totally just got those shoes because they are silver and gold- they probably aren't even your size.  And, a little off the subject, but did you clean your room?  Your floor is abnormally clean."  Well, for your information, Reader, I did not pick these shoes for their color (though I do admit to an unhealthy obsession with metallics) These beauties were selected just for me by the wonderful experts at Boston Running Company in Beacon Hill.  And, yes, I did clean my room.  Thank you for noticing.

Anyways, this evening I decided to take my new sneaks out for a spin on my old 6 mile running route (up the river to the Longfellow bridge, back down along Storrow Drive, cut through by Haymarket, around the North End and back home over the Charlestown Bridge with a final sprint up Green Street).  Between group runs, track workouts, and Crossroads, not to mention the brutal winds that attack runners along the Charles River, I have to say that my old loop has been severely neglected these past few months, so I was excited to get back out there on familiar ground.  

It was an absolutely perfect night for a run- about 37 degrees, clear skies and not too much wind.  The city looked so beautiful, the buildings all shining in the moonlight and their reflections sparkling off of the Charles.  As I ran up the River and over the bridge towards the city it was all I could do not to stop and admire the scene around me.  One thing that I've found out about running recently is that when you're running you have the opportunity to see things from a much different perspective than most people.   The sun coming up over the River as you run past Harvard, the animals out frolicking in the woods before most people are even awake, the city almost empty early in the morning, the skyline on a cold March night- these are things most people never get to see.  Call us runners crazy, but we get the chance to see some of the most beautiful sights that both nature and the city have to offer.  As I came across the Longfellow Bridge, a song by the Shout Out Louds came on my ipod.  The lyrics go "And tonight I'm telling you everything, I'm never ever going to regret this..." (I swear, you can't make this stuff up) and I couldn't help but think I am certainly not ever going to regret signing up to do this crazy marathon... just look at all it has given me and I haven't even run it yet!

Anyways, my new shoes performed fabulously, despite the fact that I tied the right one a little too tight and nearly squeezed my poor foot to death (a quick lace adjustment fixed that problem).  I can't wait to try them out tomorrow night at the track :)

Oh, and I can't write this entire blog about my new shoes without thanking the one person who was responsible for the purchase of said shoes... my grandmother.  A couple of weeks ago she sent me a check to get myself some new marathoning shoes... Thanks Grandmother!

"When you're young you get sad, then you get high..."

Last night I have to say I was a little bit heartbroken that I didn't get the chance to do my weekly 9 miler in shorts (it got a little too chilly once the sun went down), but I also have to say that I had a GREAT run. I didn't feel tired, I didn't have any aches and pains (ok, I didn't have many aches and pains) and when I finished I had that great high that only comes from finishing a really exhillerating run. It has been so long since I felt that way after a run that I almost forgot what the fabled runner's high felt like. But now that I remember I don't intend to go that long without feeling it again. As of last night, running is back in my good graces and, strangely enough, I have the Hills to thank for it (no, i'm not talking about the tv show). So, thank you, Heartbreak Hill, you have restored my faith in running again... hopefully I'll still feel the same way next week :)

Funny Story

So yesterday during some downtime at work I started writing a lovely blog about how, as a gift to everyone, I wasn't going to complain at all about running and I wasn't going to whine about a run gone badly. The blog was titled "A Gift for You" and here is a little excerpt:

"Now, don't get too excited. While I do have a gift for you, it's probably not something that you have always dreamed of having. Don't get me wrong, you'll like it, probably even thank your lucky stars that I gave it to you, but by no means is it a pony, a shiny new car, or something else equally as exciting. My gift to you today, dear reader, is that I am not going to whine, complain, throw a tantrum, cry, or otherwise voice any problems directly or indirectly related to marathon training. I know, it's not much of a "gift" per se, but if you're someone who has to talk to me on a regular basis, or even someone who reads this blog intermittently you are well aware that I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking and talking about all of the ways in which marathon training is going wrong, or not going exactly how I want it to. Well, not today."

There was a little more to it, but by the time the work day had ended I hadn't finished the entry yet, so I saved it and left to go to the gym. The only thing I'll say about my trip to the gym was that it didn't go so well and after being there only 30 minutes I gave up and just went home. My body was so tired. Of course, the first thing I wanted to do was complain about it, and who better to complain to than the internet where I can say whatever I want and no one can talk back to me. Well, I opened up my blog and what do I find there, staring me in the face? My entry about not complaining. Great. I deleted the post. But, in the interest of not complaining (or at least not complaining too much) I am going to say one thing and one thing only and then move on...

I WILL NOT BEAT MYSELF UP FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW OF BAD RUNS.

Anyways, I'm well rested and ready to get back out on the roads tonight. It's Thursday, so it's a Crossroads night, which means hills, hills and more hills. Bring it on!

In fundraising news, I only have $2600 left to go until I reach my fundraising goal of $9000!!!! It seems like just yesterday I was crossing the $3000 mark. Thanks so much to everyone who has donated so far!

You are what you eat...

Some of the more experienced marathoners among the DFMC crew have told me that I should start paying attention to what I eat on the nights before long runs and how I feel during the runs afterwards. That way, come marathon weekend I can try and replicate that so I feel my best on race day. Well, I've been giving some thought to my run this past Sunday and, despite the fact that I didn't feel awesome, I would have to say considering the crazy distance and the fact that I was all alone for a lot of the run, I felt pretty good for the duration of my run. So, with that in mind, I thought about what I had eaten the night before: a bottle of white wine, enchiladas, and a margarita. Despite my success on the run, for some reason I feel like that may not be the perfect pre-marathon meal...

My first day

I mentioned yesterday that I would be starting my new job at Dana Farber today.  Well, I did.  Today we had new employee orientation and it was good.  We went over the typical new employee stuff- benefits, procedures, safety, etc.  Oh, and there was a welcome video.  It was a video meant to get all of us new hires excited for our careers at Dana Farber and to give us a sense of what working at Dana Farber is really like.  It did those things quite effectively.  It also made me cry.  I mean, it wasn't a full on sob-fest or anything like that, but I teared up, and there were sniffles.  I'm pretty confident in saying that I am the only person in the history of new employee welcome videos to have ever cried.  In my defense, there were a few reasons why this happened. The following three things, in conjunction with one another, directly contributed to my small and uncharacteristic breakdown this morning:

1) I really really really disliked my old job.  It was a very unhappy place for me and no one I worked with was particularly happy to be there either.  The people in the Dana Farber video were SO happy to be working there, they were practically oozing happiness.  It really hit me-this happiness is what I've been missing for the past year and a half, and this very same happiness is what I have to look forward to with my new job.  It was a little overwhelming.

2) The video talked about some of the advances that have been made in cancer research at Dana Faber, in particular they mentioned a drug called Gleevec.  When my mom was sick she was in an experimental study for Gleevec.  That alone was enough to bring out some emotion, but in addition to that I really believe that that treatment was something that truly made a difference in my mother's illness and the mere fact that I will be working for a place that can help make that kind of difference for others is, again, a bit overwhelming.

3) They showed footage from the marathon and talked about the DFMC.  There were clips of people running the marathon in their Dana Farber singlets and people in the crowd were shouting out "thank you" to them.  It was very moving, especially because that will be me in just over a month (yikes).

So, by the time the video ended and the lights were back on, there I was with teary eyes and a sniffly nose.  How embarrassing.  Thank God I won't be working with any of the people I was in orientation with.

Anyways, tomorrow's the first day of real work... hopefully it will be tear free.

a stream of consciousness blog about my run today...

Disclaimer: I am so tired right now, I'm not sure how much sense this post is going to make.  But, I feel that because I am starting my new job tomorrow (did I mention that I am going to be working in development at Dana Farber now? No? Well, I am) and on the job blogging is probably frowned upon, especially in your first week, I need to do my blogging now, while things are fresh in my mind.  So here we go...

Guess what I did today?  I can only imagine what you are guessing right now; "went shopping!" "baked cookies!" "watched TV shows on your computer!" (I have cable now by the way, so hopefully we'll be breaking this habit soon), "ate a lot!" "bought a new pair of jeans!"  Well, my friends, you are all wrong (with the exception of "ate a lot," that actually happened too... but that's not what I'm referring to, and that's not really news, I do that all of the time).  What is news is that I, Lauren Krzynowek, ran 18 miles!!!  18 miles! Can you believe it?!?

I think I've mentioned before that I have not always particularly enjoyed running.  All the way up through high school I actually loathed it.  I was athletic and played three sports, but I HATED running any more than a mile at a given time (my coaches will all attest to this).  When I started college I still hated running, but I quickly found out that if I wasn't going to be playing any sports I had better get my butt on a treadmill or out on the track if I wanted to keep wearing my prized jeans collection.  Even then, running wasn't something I did because I enjoyed it, and I certainly was not interested in running any sort of crazy distances.  I actually vividly remember the first time I ran more than 2 miles.  This accomplishment was so great that I excitedly called home to report my success to my parents almost immediately after getting off of the treadmill.  Who would have ever thought that that same girl would be going on 18 mile runs and then living to blog about it?

To be honest, after I had finished the first 14 miles, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to push through the last 4 and finish the whole run.  I found myself at the top of heartbreak hill seriously debating walking back to Woodland (our starting point), or even worse, walking over to the T in Newton Centre and taking the T back to the car.  The last water stop today was just before the bottom of the hill I was standing on, and as I ran away from it the first time Jack (our coach) and Tyler (fellow DFMC runner) told me that they would leave a water bottle for me because they were going to start packing up the water stop (I was waaaaaay behind most of the other runners at this point because I took a little detour in Newton).  This water stop situation only contributed to my lack of motivation to finish my run.  So, I decided to at least run down the hill and get to the water bottle left for me and then decide what to do.  I ran to the water stop and there was Tyler, holding a water bottle with the perfect half and half mixture of gatorade and water.  I could have cried at the sight of him (I was too tired for any such outpouring of emotion).  Here he was, waiting in the cold for me after doing his own 20 mile run.  It gave me just the boost I needed to continue on.  About a mile later, there he was again... my own personal water stop!  I took another swig of gatorade and assured him I would make it the next two miles to Woodland.  The last two miles flew by and next thing I knew, I was back at our starting point.

The moral of the story?  Running by yourself is great and all, but a few simple words of encouragement and a bottle of gatorade from a friend can make all the difference between a mediocre 14 mile run on your own and an incredibly empowering 18 miler.  Thanks, Tyler!

In other news, despite the fact that I am very tired, for the first time in the history of my long runs, I did not take a 3-4 hour nap today! More progress!  Bring on the 20 miler!