Hate is a strong word... unless you really mean it

It's hard to believe that it's been over a month since my last post. I think it can be safely assumed that I wasn't very thrilled with running back when I last blogged, and, I have to say, I'm not sure that has entirely changed. Let's be honest... when have I ever really been thrilled with running? Looking back through my blog posts, there isn't really anything that ever says "I love running." There actually isn't ever anything that says that I like running. In fact, the only mention I ever make about my feelings toward running is in saying that "I used to hate it, maybe I don't anymore." I think, now that I've had some time to ponder the situation, I can safely say that I do, in fact, hate running. I think I always have. The act of running, just running, is not something I enjoy. It is hard for me, it is painful, it is tiring, it requires a lot of effort... these are all things I hate. Why the heck do I continue to do this to myself?!?

When I was training for the marathon the answer to that question was obvious. I was running for something. All of that effort had some greater purpose other than just putting one foot in front of the other for the heck of it. I was training for something big, and I was running for something even bigger. But then the marathon was over and all I was left with was running. Running for the sake of stupid running. Sure I can train for races, get faster, etc. but it's still just not the same. So, that still leaves me with the question... why am I still doing this?

Sure, I hate running. But, and I believe this is something my dear buddy Linds will 100% agree with being President of the Team Injured and all, I think I hate NOT running more. As much as I LOVE the opportunity to loaf around my apartment, spend time with some non-running buddies and do whatever I feel like doing when I'm not running, I find that when I don't run I get cranky and moody, I feel lazy, and most importantly, I don't get to spend as much time as I want to with my running friends. It's hard for me to admit this, but I actually feel worse when I don't run than when I'm outside in the 90 degree weather, running mile repeats around the track with TNT (more on them at a later date- this blogging hiatus has caused me to leave out a lot of things that have happened in the last month or so... ).

Anyways, the point of all of this rambling is that I haven't blogged in a long time because I had a feeling that I hated running and I didn't want to be so negative. But I'm ready to admit it: I HATE RUNNING. I absolutely hate it, and I am okay with that. Anyone who thinks that left foot, right foot, repeat is fun is a crazy person. That being said, not running is even less fun- so I'm sticking with the running from now on. Maybe it will grow on me (probably not), maybe it won't (more likely), but until I hate it more than not running, I'll keep putting one stupid foot in front of the other and see where I end up... and I'll even blog about it from now on too.